The McPherson's Place without Space

The Lord has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecc. 3:11)

Imagine yourself being stripped of your mental and physical energy. Imagine you had to lie in bed for weeks at a time and couldn't even watch a movie or play a game because you were just drained. You can't chase your kids around the house. You don't even have the strength to laugh at a joke. That is a taste of what Bobby has had to go through off and on over the past two years. Our lives have been in flux since March of 2022, but we know that the Lord has a plan for us.

In the meantime, we are living with family because Bobby is not able to work for the indefinite future. We are in need of help, and so I am reaching out to see if anyone can help us reach our goal more quickly. We need about $25,000 to finish adding rooms to my in-law's home to house our family of eight. 

Living here drastically cuts our expenses while Bobby can't work. We have a place to stay, but not space. With six little girls under ten years old, we are currently scrunched into two small bedrooms. With this $25,000 we can spread out a little bit (almost essential when the girls get older). 

We appreciate anything you can give, but most of all, please pray for our family. We thought Bobby was dying on more than a few occasions and it has been rough for everyone to come to grips with that possibility—the thought of our girls losing their daddy and me, my husband.  

Now it appears that Bobby is recovering and we have been given a "second chance." We have been given the opportunity for Bobby to rest—doctor's orders. Kansas is the best place for him to do this because it is home. He is at rest out here in the Flint Hills of Kansas. So thank you for considering donating to our cause.

Here is a recap of the last two years:

Florida:

Life was looking up in March 2022. We were living in Florida and Bobby got accepted to do an advanced Master’s Degree at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary up in Grand Rapids, Michigan. We were in the process of refinancing our house in Florida (to buy a house in Michigan) when Bobby overworked himself while doing lawn work. Eight years prior, he’d had a heat injury (possibly a minor heat stroke) and had been sensitive to the heat ever since, so we both thought that he’d overdone it and would need to rest; usually recovery would take anywhere from a day to a week. 

However, that night, Bobby's body began to freak out. He woke up to his heart racing at about 160 bpm from sleeping. The next morning he was shuffling around the house like an old man and his body wouldn't cool itself off properly. He felt his body overheating and it wouldn't get cool on its own. He felt his heart flopping inside his chest and he had adrenaline dumps. When the pain started with his heart a few weeks later, we went to the Emergency Room. 

We had two visits to the ER before we realized that there was nothing the ER would do to help because his vitals were fine. There were no answers with blood work and urinalysis. He was referred to a cardiologist.

All the while, his energy levels were decreasing and his brain was having a hard time thinking. I walked into the office one day to see him just staring at the computer. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I can't write this simple email. My brain isn't working right." 

Thankfully, he had a remote job where he could do projects on his time. If he’d had a normal, boots-on-the-ground 9-5 job, he would have been let go. 

We saw the cardiologist and had a full work-up done on Bobby. By May 2022, the cardiologist in Florida said his heart was fine. There was nothing wrong. Bobby asked me, "Then why does my heart hurt? Why am I feeling numbness on my fingertips and pain in my chest?" There were no answers. His two different primary care physicians did other tests and bloodwork and they had no answers either.

At this point in time, due to Bobby's decline in health we decided it would not be wise to go to Michigan. Bobby could barely work, much less use his brain to study. Unfortunately, we had completed the house refinance loan and had a higher mortgage. We needed to invest that extra money we had and we couldn't buy a house with that in Florida anymore. Our solution was to move to Kansas where we could be close to family (in case he got worse) and where we could afford a suitable size house for our family of seven. 

Bobby not being able to do much of anything made it difficult to get our house in Florida rentable, but the kindness of our "Florida Family" made all this possible. The body of Christ came together and helped us move. Between yard stability, house painting, gable repairs, fence repairs, deck creation, wall installation, electrical help, packing a moving truck, cleaning the house, hosting a baby shower, having a baby, hosting a flamingo-themed birthday party for Rebecca, and letting us crash at a house due to our house being empty…so many people came to our aid.

Thinking back on this time brings a warmth to my heart. We are so grateful to these people. As I look back through pictures, the memories bring a smile to my face. But at the same time, I realize where Bobby was, health-wise—and he actually wasn't too bad yet. He was actually able to drive the moving truck from Florida to Kansas (now, he can barely drive to church!).

Kansas:

We arrived in Winfield, Kansas on August 1, 2022. We were able to buy a house almost twice the size (basement included) of our house in Florida. Bobby tried to move stuff off the moving truck, but he quickly realized that that would not be good. To his humiliation of being the "broken one," he sat down and watched everyone else work. 

We settled into our Kansas house and Bobby was home again. He enjoyed being able to target shoot at his adopted parent's house when he had the energy for it. He still had brain fog, low energy, and a twitch had developed from his abdomen region. 

It wasn't until October 6th (Uncle John's birthday) that Bobby had another episode. His body became freezing cold all over and he "couldn't get warm." His blood felt like it was leaving his outer extremities and going towards his core. He described what sounded like tunnel vision, and his body started twitching like a ball in a pin-ball machine. I didn't know how bad this was until he said his “last words” to me. Well, he wasn't going to die on my watch, so I called a neighbor to watch the girls and I took Bobby to the ER.

The doctor on duty ran some scans and MRI and they all came back clear. He could clearly see something was going on, but Bobby’s vitals were clear and again, the urinalysis and blood work were fine. He was referred to a neurologist this time. 

After a few days, Bobby's symptoms subsided and he "recovered" again from this episode. I called my mom and told her what was going on. She said, "Tara, this sounds just like what Crystal has." I told her "no way." There is no way someone else has matching symptoms to all that Bobby has. He was all over the board with what was going on. But I ended up calling her and sure enough, the symptoms matched. She said that what she had was called "Long-Haul Covid." At that point in time, I remembered the time back in March 2022 when we all came down with covid.

Bobby being Bobby, he began researching this thing called "long-covid." It was during Christmas 2022 when Bobby was bedridden for about two weeks. I took his food to him when he felt he had enough energy to eat. I helped him out of bed to use the restroom. The kids weren't allowed to be noisy around our bedroom. The only time the kids spent around him was to cuddle with him, and even then they couldn't talk or move around. 

For Rachel's birthday, I remember Bobby being at Paul and Julie's house and Bobby was upstairs on one of the beds resting. He came out and walked half-way down the stairs while we sang to her, then had to turn around to go back to bed when we were done. 

But as a close friend said, "In the shadow of adversity, by God's grace there is joy." We still lived life. The girls had to learn independence the hard way. I had to pick up a side job to help with finances. I worked at a donut shop in town, but the hours were very difficult. I was up extremely early (1:30 am at times) and after a 10-hour shift I was exhausted. 

The girls picked up the slack and Rachel ensured everyone got breakfast. Rachel and Elizabeth started on their school work while I was gone. This was indeed a great growing time for the girls—but the perk? They got all the donuts they could ever imagine! 

Through Bobby's research, he practically studied himself to a health care degree of some sort. At one point in time, he was taking at least 60 pills a day. Some were for cellular function and mitochondrial dysfunction, others for energy production. Did you know that you have to get a particular (expensive) kind of magnesium to break the blood-brain barrier? Anyway, through the course of the NAD injections, strict diet, and rest, he was slowly building stamina. 

It was in the Spring of 2023 when a friend from college told Bobby about a position opening up in Corpus Christi, Texas, at a Classical Christian School teaching Literature. I looked at Bobby and wondered if the Lord would be gracious to allow my husband the chance to have his dream job of teaching. Weighing the pros and cons, asking the Lord for wisdom, seeking out our pastor's counsel, and seeing the Lord opening doors, we moved to Corpus Christi having faith that the Lord would take care of us. As my pastor said, "The Red Sea didn't part until Moses walked in."

At this point in time, selling and moving within one year of the previous move, the church in Kansas stepped up to the plate. Through friends, neighbors, and our brothers and sisters in Christ, we packed the house and the moving truck. The Lord showed His watch-care over us through neighbors helping with small fixes in the house that Bobby couldn't get to. One neighbor packed our basement single-handedly, and a friend came to watch the girls while I packed. 

If there is something I have learned in my married life, it’s that the Lord truly cares about the little things of life—whether it is tortillas I couldn't justify spending money on or cupcakes that a sweet young bride from church made for Isabelle's first birthday on July 14, the day we packed the moving truck. So sweet of her! My heart was so grateful for everyone's efforts. 

Even one of the deacons reassured me that it was now the church family's responsibility to do the rest after I apologized for not having everything 100% ready. I praise the Lord for His people. 

Texas:

We were off to Texas on July 15, 2023 less than one year from moving from Florida. Except this time, Bobby couldn't drive the moving truck. He knew now that he needed to save as much energy as possible and only use it if necessary. Bobby's brother, Levi, had the availability to drive the truck down and fly back a few days later. 

We arrived at the doorstep of Bobby's new boss who graciously opened his house for all eight of us to stay until we got settled. Fast forward a bit… 

We got into a rhythm of life and school. Bobby spent a lot of time in the sun for the creation of ATP and the increased function of the mitochondrial activity. I helped him with what I could (grading papers, etc.) so he could rest as much as possible. There were some days where he was definitely (and literally) dragging his feet because he lacked so much energy. He would come home and crash in the bed. 

Some people recommended Bobby try to get exercise, but what people don't understand about long covid is that you can't force the body. He can't “oomph” himself to do physical or even mental things. He couldn't even walk for five minutes straight. But the Lord sustained him and he was slowly regaining his stamina throughout the school year. 

In other areas of his health, he still had a twitch and his energy was so fragile. He got under care with two new doctors and was referred to a neurologist with whom we got under care. His health slowly was improving until Spring break. 

Our sixth daughter, Anna, was born a week before break and Bobby was able to take time off during that time and mix that with the school break; he had extra time on his hands and ended up overdoing it. 

His nervous system seemed to be "fritzing out." It was the first week of May when he couldn't work any more. His symptoms were the following: feeling like he got electrically zapped at the base of the spine, spasm in torso five times rhythmically....blinking in sync, left leg starting to go numb, difficulties swallowing, speech was robotic, he had major memory issues, pain tingles/numbness all over body, woke up to foot spasming like a flopping fish, mouth, tongue, lips in and out of numbness, extremely difficult to think, mouth numb, tongue, lips, gums hurt, pain worse in his toes and hands. 

He had been in the ER twice that first week of May after the avalanche of symptoms started firing off. It was so bad I finally called my sweet mama and asked her to come and help. I couldn't do it anymore. And then, on May 4th at around 7 am, I thought for sure Bobby was dying right in front of me. 

His body was moving involuntarily (reminded me of someone with Parkinson’s), he had labored breathing, shortness of breath, shallow breathing, and felt like his brain was not working. 

And this is where the Church showed up. I called my good friend and asked her to drop everything to come and take care of the kids because Bobby was going to the ER in the ambulance. I couldn't pick him up to carry him to the car and he couldn't walk. After I went to the ER, the ladies of the church came to help and I didn't need to worry about anything. They even got the girls ready for their ballet recital that was happening that afternoon. 

But sure enough, his vitals checked out and the MRI came back clear and he was sent home. The next day, I logged his symptoms as the following: loud noises were uncomfortable, ears seemed muffled and it was hard to listen, could barely walk or talk after episode, his taste buds were off, the twitch was more violent and shifted to where his diaphragm was. Now he was making a grunting noise when he spasmed, and his brain felt more empty. I had to get so close to his mouth to be able to hear him speak. Even up to two weeks afterward, he felt like his brain was not functioning right. It hurt and was constantly "buzzing." 

Bobby would sometimes look at me with this 90-year-old wide-eyed stare, his head shaking slightly, and at night his arms and legs would flail involuntarily. My mom arrived and I felt a load lift off my shoulders. This mommy needed her mommy. What a help during that incredibly rough time.

By this time, we were forced to acknowledge that Bobby was done working. We asked his adopted parents if we could move in with them, along with an uncle who has ALS and an aunt with a brain tumor (both of them have now been strengthened by the Lord; he is able to walk and she is able to think much better). 

They graciously accepted and we began planning to move. The local church body came to our aid and for the rest of our time in Texas, if we needed ANYTHING, I simply had to go on a group message and ask and it would get done. Groceries, babysitting, help with packing, help with watching kids, taking Bobby to appointments, helping me with our estate sale, and loading the trailer. We could not have done this without the Lord's people. Personally, I was done. My mind was fried, I was emotionally exhausted, and I couldn't do it on my own anymore.

After Bobby started to decline earlier in April, we got an immediate appointment at one of Bobby's primary care physicians. She gave Bobby a referral to a Long Covid Clinic at the University of Texas Austin. We were finally able to go to the clinic in June. There, Bobby met a Reformed doctor! It is a small world and what an encouragement to meet a man of like-minded faith. The doctor confirmed Bobby's symptoms do indeed match long-covid. The prognosis for long-covid is to convalesce and slowly...very slowly (up to years) to build stamina. 

However, one concern the doctor wanted to clear is Bobby's neurological issues. Those symptoms are not found with most long-covid patients. It doesn't mean that people don't have them, but it is not common. So the doctor wanted us to get the final clear with the neurologist in Corpus Christi. At the time of writing this in late July, we are waiting on the results of the genetic tests. So the key is rest. That is kind of hard for the breadwinner of the family and it is nearly impossible for me to work while having six kids under 10 years old. So moving back to Kansas to live with family while Bobby recovers has been crucial for us.

Kansas (There and Back Again...)

We moved back to Kansas on July 1st (less than two years from moving from Florida). We said goodbye to a church family in Corpus Christi we’d grown very close to (trials and tribulations cause the church to grow so close together!). 

We arrived at my in-laws’ place on Katherine's birthday, July 2nd. We unloaded the trailer into the garage space and crashed. We were mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. My mother-in-law made the space as welcoming as possible and the girls' bedroom was move-in ready the day we arrived (the electricity has to wait until the next phase is done--its candlelight until then! Or, extension cords). While we have a place to stay, we are sardines. All eight of us are crammed into two smaller rooms, but we are so grateful to our family for allowing Bobby to convalesce. 

The wonderful opportunity we have before us is the fact that my in-laws have a big metal building home and have the space to add on to house us for the indefinite future. We are just lacking the funds to be able to do this. For the last two years we have drained our retirement accounts and incurred credit card debt along the way to keep Bobby afloat. 

We are applying for disability but that could take 200 days to get an answer. I am, to my humbling shame, going on WIC to help with feeding the kids. I hate asking for help, but the Lord has stretched us so much in the past two years and something people keep telling me is that they are blessed by helping us. 

Bottom Line:

So here is our need: We have about $15,000 to begin this project, but we are probably needing at least another $25,000 to finish it. If there are any leftover donations, we would probably use the funds to get a used van since ours is showing signs of dying on us soon (electrical, transmission, and A/C are going out and it's not worth fixing, sadly). As I write this, today was a particular tough day in regards to the space issue. I 'm tripping over kids and my leg is bruising from side stepping past my bed. But the Lord is good and is teaching me patience in this endeavor to wait on His timing in getting the project complete. 

In the meantime, we are ever grateful for your prayers. Please pray that Bobby recovers from this terrible illness that has hijacked his body. Please pray for the Lord to provide for our needs. Please pray for love, strength, patience, perseverance, grace, and peace in our home. Please pray for the Lord to bless my in-laws and aunt and uncle in-law. If you have made it this far in this mini-book, I am grateful you care enough to read our story. If you can help us out in any way we would appreciate it. The Lord knows and we trust Him. Some verses we call to mind: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...Cast your care upon Him for He cares for you...and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God."

Thank you for reading,

~Tara