A Wish,A Hope,And A Dream to come true

Well Hello my name is Delores but I go by Lady Dee or as my girls call me Mommy Nana, So I have Been taking care of these two girls since they were born but they always returned home till one day about a good matter of 12 month before covid 19 hit the world. I started to receive calls from them sometimes 3 time in a day, sometimes much more.so I thought my daughter is having a hard spell, we all do at one point or another you know so I will just try to help with what I can and when I can so I did just that  , However as the time past on I started to receive calls that made me feel very uneasy and sometimes sick to my stomach or so nervous I would not sleep. so finally, I make my way down the hill to my daughter house the mother of the girls, and to my finding things happen to be much worse than ever. the home was worst then a junk yard the refrigerator had known food at all but water. I just could not believe my eyes, I just wanted to break down, but my husband kept me strong as always. so started cleaning up the girl's room and the rest of thing and seeing my daughter wake up to drink hard liquor not coffee or anything else my husband and I figured away to get the girls mom to let us bring them home for a visit. we ashore mom my daughter that we would return them right back home after the weekend without a doubt also then I went on to say how being a mother 24 hours a day 7 days a week is more work than a job working 9to 5 she laughed and said your right mom (LOL0 how she could agree was beside me the home looked like it had not been clean since the day they moved in it. ) and I won't say much else for the rest, so it came for us to leave and her to say okay go head and take the girls just make sure that they are home on Sunday I look at her and said of course dear. once on the freeway I have to tell you my girls spoke nothing but a very few words other than they were very hungry so we stop to buy them food, continue on the way home up the hill in San Bernardino ca, finally we reach home, and my granddaughter look so happy as if they could breathe. we had a real good time movies park dog playing food and most certain I had to go buy them a few outfits cause my daughter made it a point to say how they had nothing clean and she had not had money to wash so I said no worries but when Sunday came and it was time to take them back to their mother, well that's were thing went a whole different direction they said clear and loud PLEASE PLEASE NANA TATA DONT TAKE US BACK THERE NEVER PLEASE I ASK WHY THEY WOULD NOT SHEER  WITH ME , I BEGGED THEM TO GO HOME THEY BEGGED TO STAY FINALLY IT GOT BAD TO WHERE MY DAUGHTER SAID I HAD KIDNAPPED HER GIRLS WELL I WAS NOT HAVING that so I went Stright to the police department and told them what had come about they stated there was no kidnapping amber alert and as I was leaving I ask what would happen if my daughter should make it up here to get her kids do I have to return them the police officer said yes then my two granddaughter said can they talk to the police officer and had me wait in lobby . I tell you this much it was a minute I stood waiting then out they came the officer handed me a business card said go home know worries they were going to be able to stay with my husband and I not to worry so I looked at the police officer then my girl and last my husband. and said how is this ,they all said no worries just know that you can keep the girls if mom comes with her newfound boyfriend, give me a call on that direct number I just gave you. I said OKAY and we left to a dear friend home where I felt that the girls would feel safer, because their mother was in route to us and was coming with a few young men whom I would call dumb want to be e's you know the stereo type of gang guy so now please read on ,this is where it gets harder than ever. so now my husband is working more than he has ever had to just to buy clothes food shoes and hygiene not to say the bill increases but we are doing it barely but still holding on to faith and pushing forward now placed with the fact that we need to take custody of these girls before mom Tries something really bad. so we go to children services we ask for help but got the very least of it, and told we would need to file with the courts emergency temporary custody hold on the girl, so that is just what we did. thank God for my husband family and few I mean few friends. that help with some of the financial part so now we get that done and hires is the kicker ,through this walk we are now heading into the new year 2021 and covid 19 is up and out there and getting worst so my husband feels bad because in all this time of trouble the only out my girls were able to have is us going to the park and play on swing or playing bible quiz, so he tell the girls as soon as the paper work comes back and your  nana and I have the custody I will take you guys to that scandia place to hang and have some real fun time. that we all deserve is that okay my babies, the girls respond yes yes, now we are beating or heads cause Christmas is in days covid 19 is high ,and we just got the custody and my husband is looking older than me and mind you he is 12 years young but working so so hard to meet all of our need and some of the girls wants might I say he did do all of it .but was killing his self with exhaustion, now the Christmas came and left and we made it through . however, Dec 28,2020 my husband gets the paper that the girl our safe and now we have the right to enroll them into school. praise Jesus. so he decided to keep his promise as he always did and tell the  girl to get ready to go to scandia now keep in mind covid is up high we have been nowhere at all doing all the extra disinfecting more than ever .so off we go and we had the time of our life ,it felt like we went to six flags ,or something seeing how we had not been anywhere do to covid and fear. so, I have a whole week with papers we or going to go on Monday to put girls in school and we wake up and I am crying telling my husband I feel like I was run over by a 18 wheeler truck and he said I feel even worst we had to have caught covid 19 at the scandia I said please god No! see because I am,  a server asthmatic I have COPD LOPUS I AM DIABETIC INSULIN DEPENDENT ON SPECIAL MENTAL MEDS DO TO THE FACT THAT I WAS HIGHLY ABOUSED AND BEATTEN BY MY MOTHER MORE TIME THEN I CARE TO COUNT BUT THAT WAS NOT MY PROBLEM .I RECALLED THEM SAYING ON NEWS AND ALL BROADCAST THAT ANYONE WITH ANY HEALTH DEFICIENCY WOULD MOST LIKELY DIE IF COUGHT COVID19, SO I AM FREAKING OUT AND MY OLDEST DAUGHTER TAKE US BOTH TO BE TESTED. THIS IS DAY THREE INTO BEING SICK AND AS SURLY AS OURS NAME WE BOTH TESTED POSITIVE FOR IT. NOW I AM JUST FALLING APART SO ON OUR WAY HOME MY DAUGHTER IS DRIVING AND SHE LOOKS BACK AT HER STEPDAD AND TELLS ME MOM HE DOESN'T LOOK GOOD AND THEN MY HUSBAND WHO WAS SITTING BEHIND ME TAPS ME AND SAY BABY BABY I CAN'T BREATHE AND I DONT WANT TO DIE IN FRONT OF MY LIL LOW OR SCARY MARY. PLEASE TAKE METO DESERT VALLEY HOSPITAL AND LEAVE ME THERE OKAY I AM SAYING NO NO ALL THE WAY, HE SAYING YOU SHOULD STAY WITH ME BABE THEY CAN HELP US. I SAID HELL KNOW LOVE I KNOW YOU HAVE NOT PAID ATTENTION CAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING SO MUCH BUT THE HOSPITAL ARE WAY TOP FULL AND CAN NOT CARE FOR ANY ONE LET ALONE SOME ONE .SO NO I AM NOT GOING AND I WISH YOU WOULD NOT GO , BUT HE WANTED TO GO NO MATTER THE CASE .HE WAS GASPPING FOR AIR AND SAID HE WOULD NOT EVEN MAKE IT HOME SO WE PULLED UP AT THE HOSPITAL PARKING LOT AND HE KISSED ME AND WALK IN TO THE HOSPITAL WITH THE HELP OF OUR DAUGHTER WHEN SHE RETURNED TO THE CAR I HAVE TO BE HONEST I FELT HIM WHEN HE KISSED ME THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE THE VERY LAST KISS I WOULD RECEIVE FROM MY BELOVED HUSBAND OF 33 YEARS. SO MY DAUGHTER WALK HIM IN AND ASK HOW LONG WAS IT GOING TO BE TO GET HIM CHARTED AND SEEN THE HEAD NURSE SAID MORE THEN THREE HOURS AND EVEN BEING SERVER IT WAS TAKING 2 HOURS OR MORE SO WE HEADED HOME AND BEFORE WE GOT THERE I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THAT HER STEP DAD WOULD NOT BE COMING BACK HOME SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT MOTHER SO DON' T TALK LIKE THAT I SAID YOU HAVE MY  WORD CAUSE GOD TOLD ME SO JUST LIKE HE DID WHEN HE TOOK MY FATHER HOME YOU REMEMBER? SHE SAID I DO BUT GIVE HIM A FIGHTING CHANCE ,I SAID IF YOU WANT ME TO LIE I WILL FOR YOUR GUYS SAKE,BUT THAT IS NOT GOING TO HELP JUST HURT BUT OK SO I AM HOME NOW AND HE WAS NOT IN ER FOR MORE THEN 30 MIN AND WAS PUT INTO ICU BEFORE WE MADE IT HOME.NOW I AM ON MY COUCH AND MY TWO GRANDGIRLS ARE WONDERING WHERE THERE TATAT IS SO I TELL THEM AT THE HOSPITAL AND NEXT THEY SAY TO ME OKAY TATA WILL BE BACK BUT UNTIL THEN NANA WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THE BEST CARE OF YOU FOR OUR TATA. I JUST CRIED AND SAID OKAY THAT WAS ON DAY 5.I CRIED AND CRIED AND SWEAT AND WATCH ALL GOD INSPERATION TALK SHOWS BUT I KNOW THAT ME JUST KNOWING I COULD BEAT IT , NOT HOPING BUT KNOWING IS WHY I AM HERE TODAY. SO, DAYS ARE PASSING EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS GOT COVID MY MOTHER AGE 70 MY AUNT DOWN THE HILL MY SON AND MY GRANDGIRL OR SIMTHEMATIC A, EVERYONE IS FIGHTING FOR THERE LIFE NOW. BEAR IN MIND MY HUSBAND IS MY SOUL PROVIDER OF EVERY DOLLAR THAT IS MADE AND COMES INTO MY HOME. HE IS MY STREANTH AND ROCK AND MY FINALCIAL PROVIDER SO WITH HIM IN THE HOSPITAL NO WORK I AM FORCED TO TAKE FROM A VERY HARD TO DO SAVING WE HAD MANAGED TO SAVE ABOUT 13,000 DOLLARS TILL COVID19. SO AS I SAID FORCED TO USE THE SAVING WITH A THOUGHT THAT JUST MAYBE HE WILL GET HOME EVEN THOUGH I DO ALREADY KNOW THAT IS NOT THE CASE. AND AS I SAID IT. WELL ON THE 9 TH DAY I RECEIVED A CALL FROM MY FIRST BORN SON HIS STEP SON I ALREADY NEW IN MY HEART WHY I WAS BEING RUSHED TO HOSPITAL , AND SO NOW I AM TELLING MY VERYVERY DEAR FRIEND WHOM IS LIKE A SISTER TO ME TO MEET ME THERE AND YOU NEED TO ALSO REMEMBER EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY THAT WAS HEADED TO HOSPITAL WERE ALL WITH COVID19. BUT THAT VERY MORNING THAT WE WERE RUSH TO HIM EVERYONE OF US KNOW LONGER FELT SICK AT ALL. NOT EVEN A LIL BIT FOR SOME ODD REASON WE WHERE ALL WELL THAT MORNING AND WELL MY HUSBAND MY ROCK MY PERSON WAS GONE. I NEEDED TO TURN HIM OFF LIFE SUPPORT . I TELL YOU WE DID NOT SEE THIS AND I KNOW HE DIDN'T BECAUSE WE HAD GOT THE GIRLS SAFE. SO WE THOUGHT AND WELL THEN THIS HITS ME ,THE DEATH OF MY LIFE PARTNER IS GONE AND HIS GRAND DAUGHTER THAT HE CALLED LILLOW WAS WITH OUT TALKING SHE IS ONE OF THE TWO I AM HERE ON THERE BEHALF SO NOW I FIND MYSELF ALSO   SO SPEECHLESS,  NO WORDS AND TRYING  TO PRETEND I AM WELL ,SO JANUARY 14 HE PASSED JAN 15 2021 I TURNED MY HUSBAND OFF LIFE SUPPORT NOW IF THAT NOT ENOUGH MY BIRTHDAY IS JAN30 SO ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL AND FUNREAL HOME TO MAKE SERVICES SETUP AND EVERYTHING ELSE NOW I AM LEFT WITH KNOW CHOISE BUT TO TAKE FROM SAVING TO MEET SERVICES NEEDS AS WELL AS THE GIRLS NEED S BECAUSE THEY NOW OUR MY FULL AND ALONE RESPONSIBILITY SO IT FEEL AS IF IT CANT BE . AND I FEEL LIKE I AM DOING WELL WITH OUR SAVING. BUT THAT WAS NOT THE CASE CAUSE ON THE 29 WE PLACE HIM TO CREAMATION THE DAY I COULD NOT THINK ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY BUT MY GRAND GIRL DID SO MOVING ON TO 5 MONTH LATEER I RECEIVE ANOTHER CALL FROM MY MOTHER DOCTORS SAYING THAT SHE IS GOING TO NEED SURGERY, AND HELP. SO, I AM TRY TO CARE FOR EVERYONE BUT MYSELF AND BETWEEN TWO HOMES .AND I BECOMING SO TIRED! AND FORGETTING THINGS THAT I MAKE A CHOISE TO LEAVE MY HOME WHERE MY HUSBAND AND I LIVED WITH THE TWO GIRLS AND MOVE INTO MY MOTHER HOME TO LIVE SO I MAY PROVIDE UNCONDITIONAL CARE FOR HER SO NOW THE GIRL AND I OR PLACED TO LEAVE & LIVE OUT OF A FEW BAGS, OUT OF ALL OUR THING AND THE REST INTO A STORAGE. WELL ABOUT A MONTH AFTER MOVING IN WITH MY MOTHER HER HEALTH DECREASED SERVER THEN FINALLY SHE IS GIVEN THE SURGERY SHE HAD BEEN WAITTING ON ONLY TO COME OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO MOBILIT HARDLY KNOWING WHO SHE WAS OR ME AS WELL AS NOT BEING ABLETO FEED HERSELF GO TO THE REST ROOM CLEAN HER ON NOISE OR BLOW IT OR EVEN DRINK WATER SO I ASK RIGHT AWAY WHAT HAPPENED? AT THE HOSPITAL, AND KNOW ONE HAS ANY ANSWER FOR ME, JUST THAT SHE WILL BE PUT ON HOSPICE AND THEN THEY GAVE ME 6MONTH FOR MY MOTHER TO LIVE WELL SHE MADE IT 1 YEAR 1 WEEK WITH MY GRANDGIRLS AND I PROVIDING HER CARE SO. THE HARDEST WAS WATCHING HER DIE.  AND WELL, SHE DIED IN MY ARM IN HER HOME ON 04/14/2023 NOW I AM PUSHED EVEN FURTHER BACK WITH GRIEF AND SARROW AND KNOW UNDERSTANDING AND WONDERING JUST HOW I AM GOING TO PAY FOR MY MOTHRER SERVICES? AS WELL AS CARE FOR THESE GIRL? BECAUSE YOU SEE A FEW YEARS BEFORE MY HUSBAND AND MY MOTHER CAME TO PASS, MY FATHER DIED FIRST SO MY MOTHER WAS ALREADY IN DEBIT DUE TO THAT.AND NOW I AM LEFT WITH ALL THIS IN MY LAPE. NOW IF ANYONE READING THIS IS AS DOUMB FOUNDED AS I WAS I NEVER NEW WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES AT HOME, IT COAST $1100 HUNDRED JUST TO PICK UP MY MOTHER BODY. SO I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU NO LIES I WAS NOT ABLE TO GET MY MOTHER PICK UP TILL THE VERY EARIY MORNING AROUND 2 OR 3:00 AM ON 04/15/2023 SHE PASSED 04/14/2023 I HAD TO TRY SO HARD TO KEEP HER BODY TEMP VERY COLD AND THAT WAS VERY HARD AND TRAUMATIZING BUT YOU SEE ONCE AND FOR ALL MY TWO GIRLS HELP ME THROUGH ! SO BEFORE I GET AHEAD OF MY SELF, DURING THESE COUPLE YEARS MIND YOU BOTH MY GIRLS ARE SO AFRAID TO LEAVE ME DO TO THE FACT THAT THEY WATCHED THEIR TATA DIE AND THEIR GRANDMOTHER MY MOM. SO, THEY ARE MISSING OUT ON BEING TEENS, AS WELL AS BEING EDUCATED! ALL THIS OUT OF FEAR TO LEAVE THEIR NANA BEHIND AS THEY GO TO SCHOOL. I WILL SAY IT IS THERE'S AS WELL AS MY FEARS TO LOES ANYONE ELSE YOU SEE. I WISH I COULD SAY OTHER WISE BUT I WAS A COMPLETE MESS AND I AM STILL FEEL  LIKE I HAVE SO MUCH TO CONTINUE WITH IN MY LIFE ,AND MORE BECAUSE OF MY TWO YOUNG GRANDGIRLS.AND TRUST SOMETIMES I FEEL LOST & ALONE BUT DOING SO MUCH BETTER IN SO MANY WAYS. EXCEPT WHERE I NEED TO BE DOING BETTER AT! AND THAT IS WHY AGAIN I AM HERE TO GIVE BACK TO MY BABY GIRLS AND TO BE ABLE TO HAVE FOR THEM AND LET THEM GO TO SCHOOL DRESSED WELL AS WELL AS TO HAVE A HOME TO COME TO AND TO KNOW I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEIR EDUCATION BE COMPLETED. SO, BACK TO MY STORY SO AFTER THEY REMOVED MY MOTHER BODY 1 WEEK LATER, I AM TOLD BY THE OWNER OF HER PROPERTY THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO STAY IN MY MOTHER HOME FOR LONG CAUSE I AM NOT ON THE PAPERWORK OR LEASE. AS I SHOULD SAY BUT THEY WILL GIVE ME 2 MORE WEEKS TO GRIEF AND THEN I WILL NEED TO MOVE ALL MY MOTHER LIFE LONG BELONGING OUT AND CLEAN THE PLACE WITH A HOPE TO GET HER DEPOSIT BACK WELL ALL I KEEP THINKING IS WERE ARE THE GIRLS AND I GOING AND HOW.SO I AM NOW HOMELESS FOR ABOUT I WOULD SAY INTO 3MONTHS WITH MY GIRLS. MIGHT I SAY THEY NEVER STOP BELEIVING IN ME OR LISTING TO ME PREACH AS WE SLEPT IN MY CAR THEN WE DID GET A ROOM TO STAY IN AT MY OLDER SON HOME. BUT ONLY BECAUSE HIS WIFE AND HIM WERE NO LONGER TOGETHER SO I WAS WELCOME TO STAY HOW EVER THAT WAS A SHORT STAY MOVED BACK UP THE HILL TO THE HIGH DESERT WERE ALL OUR LOST TOOK PLACE AND STAYED WITH MY TRUE FRIENDS WHO I CALL SISTER.FOR 6 MONTH AND THIS BRING US TO WHERE WE ARE. SO TODAY AT CURRENT WE ARE  HERE IN A VERY  SMALL 1 BEDROOM APPARTMENT WITH MY DOG MY GRAND GIRLS DOG THE 2 GIRLS AND MYSELF AND I PROMISE IT FEEL LIKE WE CAN NOT HARDLY BREATH HERE SOME DAY BUT WE OUR NOT GOING TO GIVE UP OR STOP BELEIVEING IN GOD OR HOLDING ON TO MY FAITH AND MUCH MORE BECAUSE  OF THE LOVE THE GIRLS GIVE TO ME.  IT  JUST MAKE ME FULL OF WANT FOR THEM SO I CAN SEE THEM THROUGH, FOR YOU SEE THERE LOVE IS  UNMEASUREABLE  SO NOW YOU GOT IT ALL, AFTER GETTING INTO THIS PLACE I HAVE ABSOULOTLY NOT A DOLLAR IN MY SAVING AND I CAN SAY I HAVE 1 OR 3 DOLLARS IN MY CHECKING AND MY LIGHT BILL I OWE 200 MY GAS 250 MY CELL 314 .00 TO T-MOBILE MY RENT OUR YOU READY 1300 FOR A 1 BEDROOM AND CAR INSURANCE AND THE GIRLS UP TO THIS POINT HAVE ONLY BEEN IN SCHOOL FOR UNDER 9 MONTH WELL AT LEAST THE YOUNGER ONE WHOM WE CALL OUR  SCARY MARY BECAUSE THE OTYHER ONE LILLOW WILL NOT LEAVE MY SIDE AND SHE HAS A HARD TIME DRESSING BECAUSE SHE IS A THICK BONE GIRL AND GET UPSET OFFTEN ABOUT NOT HAVING THINGS WE NEED ASIDE OF THING WE WANT SO PLEASE PLEASE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO HELP ME SEE MY TWO GIRL THROUGH AND INTO A HOME AND TO BE ABLE TO KEEP THERE UPKEEP AND EDUCATION TILL ITS COMPLETE PLEASE I ASK FOR THIS ( WISH A HOPE AND A DREAM TO COME TRUE FOR THEM MORE THEN ANYTHING. SO, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READY AND MORE FOR ANY HELP THAT MIGHT BE GIVEN GOD BLESS YOU ALL.THERE NANA LADY DEE  The picture is Tata my husband who passed.