Help With Depression Treatment

Hello dear friends, family, and kind-hearted visitors.

I am humbly reaching out today to ask for your assistance in a deeply personal and incredibly important matter.

Since the age of 11, I have been battling with major depressive disorder.  At 17, I was further diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)*.  It was about 6 years ago now that I was diagnosed finally with treatment-resistant depression, as I had (and continue to) cycle through medication after medication in attempts to find one that stuck, and continued to work in the long run. I've tried 10+ medications, and they all eventually stop working after seemingly random amounts of time, anywhere from a few months to a couple of years.

If you’re reading this, you may already know these things.  You may have witnessed yourself the complexity of the negative effects it has had on my life.  You may even have been affected by these issues yourself - for that, I will never know how to truly, fully apologize.  But I give you my sincerest apologies nonetheless, and tell you that I aim to improve, no matter the outcome of even this treatment. 

There has indeed been a profoundly negative impact across my life, caused by these and a multitude of other mental health issues. While I do not ever want to make excuses to avoid taking responsibility for my behaviors, I feel some explanation may be necessary, to give background as to why I am the way I am at times. Simple daily tasks such as getting out of bed and brushing my teeth sometimes seem incomprehensibly difficult.  Both my former academic and current professional lives have seen setbacks due to these issues, which can be inexplicably frustrating for someone who wants desperately to excel at both and continue to grow.  My social life struggles immensely, and avoidance of people and difficulty in communicating and maintaining relationships stems in part directly from these issues, which have unfortunately worsened as I have entered my later 20’s.  Again, for someone who loves people greatly and has many people who love them, this is beyond exasperating to me.  I want to be able to communicate how much I love and express my gratitude for the love I receive, and have not been able to find a way to do that that does not create some kind of distress in my mind.

Recently, after a week-long inpatient stay at a local center, I began looking into more intensive treatments for my issues, and found Spravato (esketamine) to be a promising opportunity.   Independent studies found it to be incredibly effective in treating both treatment-resistant MDD and comorbid CPTSD.  One article published by the National Library of Medicine found that, in a study involving 9 men and 2 women, “The mean MADRS** score decreased significantly from 38.6 at baseline to 18.2 after 6 months o [intranasal] Esketamine; 7 patients were responders and 3 patients were in remission. The percentage of patients who were moderately to severely suicidal declined from 63.6% at baseline to 27.3% after 1 month of IN Esketamine sessions. No serious adverse reactions were observed.”

These numbers as well as the chance - even the smallest one - of remission were extremely promising, and after researching further, I decided to set up treatment.  After successfully signing up and beginning treatment, I am 2 sessions in - although I hesitate to say I feel any different after so few treatments, others close to me have said they have already noticed a positive impact, and I would be dishonest in saying I haven’t felt any different.  At risk of jinxing anything, I *won’t* say that it seems like the threshold for happiness has gone up ever so slightly…

All this being said, Esketamine therapy will require both significant financial sacrifice and time away from my professional job.  Spravato therapy is set up so that you begin attending the treatments with twice-weekly appointments, usually for the span of around a month, and then transition to once weekly appointments after the physician deems it appropriate.  A patient can be on spravato treatments weekly or biweekly for years at a time, depending on the reception of the treatment.  Considering the frequency of appointments, as well as the dip in pay due to missing work days, I may struggle, especially starting off, in making ends meet - which is ultimately why I decided to begin this campaign.  Any donation, no matter the amount, will help in my years-long journey towards mental health, stability, and a level of contentedness I truly questioned would be possible, that is now within such amazingly close reach. As a small token of my appreciation, I will endeavor to create custom artwork for anyone who donates $25 or more.  The amount you donate will determine the complexity I will be able to add to the piece - $25 will get you a fun thank-you sketch, and higher donations could mean personal portraits, tattoo designs, character sheets, pet paintings, and more!  Message me for any requests, and we will determine what I can do! If you have no specific request and want to see what I come up with for you, just let me know that as well! If you have any graphic design related requests like logos, letterheads, etc. feel free to request that instead! At the max level of donation, you'll be offered a one hour drawing lesson, in which you can ask to receive personalized tutoring based on your own level of drawing skill. This can be in person if we live near each other, or over telecommunications if not! 

Finally, if you’ve read this far, even if you can’t donate - thank you.  Your support means more than I think I will ever be able to express.  I am deeply grateful for any contribution you can make, and am thankful to have you in my life, in any capacity. 

Lastly, I leave you with some personal inspiration:

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. Friedrich Nietzsche

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

-Kelley K Akers

*While some medical professionals dispute the need for or validity of distinction between PTSD and CPTSD, this distinction has been incredibly important in both understanding my own behavior, and treating the condition itself.

**The Montgomery-Åsberg Depression Rating Scale 

A NOTE ON ART REQUESTS:  As I will have no idea of the effectiveness of this campaign and therefor no clue how many art pieces I may have to create, please allow up to a month after you receive confirmation that I have begun your piece for me to create it for you. I want to provide the highest quality work I can for you, and this may take some time! 

WHY 6K? Click here to view a breakdown of costs and the budget I came up with for dealing with expenses. You'll see the fundraising goal is lower than the amount I came up with as a suggested sum - I want to fund as much as possible myself, and believe I can do this. I simply need a little extra help! There will be varying weekly fees for transportation, each one-way Uber costing a little more than $30. I've calculated with room for the max in each fee each week, which will eventually be down to $60/week for to and from single appointments, after the first month.

If you have any wish to see proof of any of these claims, I will happily send a receipt for treatment/credit statement/EoB etc. - feel free to email me or message me to request these!